My grandpa is stronger than yours

So I spent quite a bit of time tonight with my mom and in her attempts to try and comfort me that everything will be fine and we'll manage with the new drain situation there was this silver thread, always tracing back to an man I greatly admire, my grandpa Tonio.
Grandpa Tonio had the bluest of eyes with that flickering glint in them, the nicest smile and the calmness that few people have about them nowadays. Although he and my grandma had to go through years of poverty, raising 14 kids and building a house and farm of their own, he always found a way to make things work. In his older years, grandpa Tonio even babysat me, tucking me in bed, making sure I had a little light and was ok sleeping in a big girl bed alone in their big house on the second floor all by myself.
I was 14 years old when Grandpa passed onto a better life but I think of him almost every day. I wish I could have walked down the aisle with him on one side and my other grandpa on the other. Both Grandpas were not tall, not absolutely handsome but to me, they are the proof that I can achieve anything. Tonio is my grandpa and I am very proud of that, and being his grand daughter I stand here tonight thinking that he left me all his courage,strenght, will and determination. I am a better person because of my grandpa. And ok, I have to say, I miss him often ;-)

oh. and my toe is broken.
good night!

3 weeks to go

So starting yesterday afternoon, everyone was off for summer vacation, meaning I will be all alone in the office with Pat and the big boss.

Granted the latest events @home I am trying to think of it as an opportunity to vent, be distracted and maybe put in a bit of overtime. With a little luck I might also be able to get a little time to prepare for my retake, although I have yet to establish a course of action to make sure I pass next time...

I started seeing someone to open up a little more and learn to manage with the ups and downs of life. I would like to be a strong woman all the time but apparently I still have to work on that.
I don't know how much of a difference this will make but just trying to get better and feel better is a step in the right direction...

Oh, and before I forget. I need a hobby.
Therapist reccomends I start spinning and all again.
Will try.

Zen, ccie and the art of home ownership

So.

This is my very first post ever....

This blog doesn't deal with the greatest of issues facing mankind. Basically it's about me and my need to talk more and to try to find myself a hobby. Sure I knit and spin and all that but lately my heart just isn't into these activities...or maybe it's because nobody thinks of yarn when it's 32C outside and the house needs fixin'.

Which brings me to talk about that. The house needs a new drain. We experienced some issues last week on (of all days) S's birthday. It was already a day chock full of emotions because we were seeing the doctor in the morning to figure out why our latest plan has been failing for the last year and a half, I was back from Vegas (weeee! Networkers!) and for once on S's birthday, I had just no plans whatsoever...

Basically the sanitary drain was all clogged with roots. Yay. So it had to be changed (today) but this led to the discovery that more roots are clogging the foundation's drain. Meaning that there will be lots of people working on our house to replace the drain and fix the issue. Let's hope there is nothing else (yes, I know, I am freaking out but this is my blog, I am allowed!)
I truely love my house, it is our house and I see myself growing old here with S and fill the two upstairs bedrooms with new inoccupants which share our DNA...but although we had planned our finances to be able to face such situations, I've been an emotional wreck for the past week.
I am very lucky to have S, he is a wonderfull hubby and always tries to reassure me that things will be fine...however he too had to deal with this and managing to work as a team has been trying for both of us. I also have the best of friends and although some (hello, T!) had to experience my freaked, panick-stricken side, I know their arms are always open (and so are their mobile phones) if I feel bad.

I just can't wait till all of this is behind us. I know it'll be lots of money but I really need to work on my CCIE R&S written retake. I failed with a score not too far from the passing mark in Vegas and I know I can do this if only I am at peace with myself, the world and our house.
Zen and CCIE exams tend not to go hand in hand, I hope I can learn from our house experience how to be calm enough to be able to pass.

Now some of you might wonder why my blog is titled "Have we assumed control".
One of S's favorite band (and now one of my faves as well) is Rush. At the end of 2112's Finale, Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson end the album with "...we have assumed control..."
I do have control issues, and have just started seeing someone to help me deal with all of that. This blog will also deal with such issues, and the progress I make towards Zenitude.


So there. This ends the 1st post.

Let's see where this goes!


M.